Not Anxious, Scared
by SweeTarts151
Summary: There's a big difference between fear and anxiety. Amy knows the difference. She recently came out to her mother on live television with her fake yet not so fake girlfriend/best friend. Jealously, anxiety, fear and hope pave the roads of Amy's life.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything mentioned in this story.**

**A/N: I wrote this right after episode 2, then somehow managed to lose it in my computer. Finally found it and decided to post it, let me know what you think**

**Not Anxious, Scared**

A blonde sits alone in a room. Her hands are tangled in semi curly hair. Her expression is pained and frustrated before she shoves herself up off of her bed. Her eyes catch on almost invisible stars and her insides twist before she walks out of her room, slamming her door. In the hallway she comes face to face with another shorter blonde. They stare at one another for a few minutes before the taller blonde moves past the shorter blonde Lauren. Lauren watches her step-sister Amy go before walking to the stairs and listening. Her teeth bite into her lip nervously.

Amy continues down the stairs and heads for the front door. "Where are you going?" Amy's face turn terrified and anxious before she calms her features and turns around to face her mother.

"Out. I need some air." Her voice is tart. Short as her fingers tremble on her thighs. Her blue eyes won't met her mothers. Ever since that night her mother seemed to have no idea what to do with her. The night she came out on live television, to her mother the newscaster. Thankfully the news station had understood her predicaments and given her mother a second chance to prove herself.

"Where are you going? You're not very dressed up." Eye flicker over Amy's clothing with curiosity. The eyes are guarded and scared. She had no idea how to handle her daughter being gay. Her own mother would have prayed and sent her daughter to church and had them pray the gay out of her. Teach her what was right but everything was so messed up. People were coming out and nothing was the same. She loved her daughter but her religion ate at her. Some people at church frowned upon gays but she didn't, as long as they didn't mess or affect her family she was fine. But now her daughter was gay and she was so lost.

"I just need to get out of here. The air is suffocating. I'm going to run. Is that a problem?" Amy's voice was unusually short as she fidgeted from foot to foot. Lauren listened to them from above the stairs. She knew how their relationship was. Amy loved her mom even if her mom was a bit to take in. And Farrah loved Amy even though she didn't agree with her clothing choices. They loved one another yet this was tearing them apart. Lauren bites at her lips as her memories flash back to how there was a drift between her and her own mother when her mom had cheated on her dad. Her dad was different now, happier even if Amy's mom was a bit crazy. Though Lauren seemed to be the daughter Amy's mom had always dreamed of. Yet it didn't make Amy's mom love Amy any-less. Though Amy coming out had made a rift. Lauren had tried to stop it, she wasn't actually going to tell Amy's mom. She knew how people could be. She just never expected Amy to go through with it. Especially since she did hear that they were faking it. And she had seen Karma kissing Liam which confused and pissed her off. Liam thought they were both gay and in a relationship. Even if Lauren hated not fitting in. Not being at the top of the ladder like at her old school she hated people who tried to break apart relationships. She hated the cheater and the cheatee. Even if they were faking it Karma and Liam still shouldn't be doing thing. Making out.

Lauren shakes her head as she listens to the two blondes downstairs. Amy backs away from her mother and grips the doorknob, not meeting her mother's eyes. "I'm going to be at Shane's. He invited me over for dinner after I run."

Her mom runs a hand through her hair. Curls drifting over her fingers. "Amy I like him but he is a boy. I wouldn't feel comfortable with you be-"

"He's gay mom! He's not going to get me pregnant or anything. I am not going over there to have sex okay. I need somebody who understands me. You don't want me here so I am going to go for the night. I hate this awkwardness." Tears fill Amy's eyes as she yells at first before her voice softens and crumbles. " I love you but I need air." With that Amy turns and rips open the door before running down the street. Her feet pound on the cement as she runs to Shane's house. She couldn't wait until she was 16. One more month then freedom. No more riding the bus or walking everywhere. The girl pauses as she thinks about it. She didn't have a car and who would buy it for her? She came out to her mom why would her mom get her anything? Why would her mom love her anymore?

Her feet carry her to Karma's house and she see's a car sitting on the street. Watches as Karma gets into it. Her heart clenches as she catches sight of Liam's hair. It was eight at night. They were going on a romantic date. Tears prickled at her eyes before she walked to Shane's house. Her feet shuffled and teeth dug into her lip as she tried to hold back the tear. She makes it to Shane's house and knocks on the door. He opens it and catches sight of Amy. "Ohh no. Get in here, I know that look anywhere." His arm circles around Amy's shoulder as he leads her to his room. "You have both the panicked and then heartbroken look. What happened?"

Her mind rushes around everything. "I kissed a boy and felt nothing! Why didn't I feel anything?" Karma had spoke of Liam so she decided to try. She managed to kiss one boy but everything felt wrong. That's why she went home and why she needed air. Everything was tumbling down. "I. We're faking being lesbians. Karma is. I'm not sure. I. I don't know what to do anymore."

Shane stares at Amy for a second. "Well that was shocking. Have you ever kissed another girl?"

Amy stares at him for a minute. "No and don't tell anyone were faking it. Karma is my best friend and I don't want to see her hurt. Shane please."

The boy sighs. "Okay, I won't tell anyone. But you are in a bundle of rainbows girl. Karma is going to hurt you one way or another."

Amy sighs. "I have to go. I, thanks for talking to me. I needed someone to help make my thoughts make sense. I'm not good at this. I have to go." She turns and leaves as suddenly as she had come. Her mind wouldn't settle on one thing.

She had come out to her mother, both for Karma and her own benefit. She had stood up to her mother and it had felt amazing at the moment but right now she wanted to cry. She needed her best friend, the same person she was fake dating and surely was off having sex with Liam. She wipes at her eyes and sees the club. It stands out and she remembers Shane mentioning it at lunch. She walks to the bouncer who looks her over. A boy looks her over before slapping a twenty into the man's chest and shoving her through. "You look like you need it sweetheart. Have fun." The boy leaves her with a wave of his hand and she looks around at the bar. Couples dance together, nonalcoholic drinks passed out and she stumbles across the floor.

She sees girls with hair like Karma's before she sees a blonde looking her way. She watches as the blonde girl walks towards her. She wears short shorts and a flowing soft green shirt that matches her eyes. "Hello." Her voice carries to Amy's ears and before Amy can think she pulls the girl into a quick kiss. She feels the girl smirk against her own lips before they begin to kiss with a fever. Amy tangles her fingers into the girls soft straight blonde hair. If Karma was losing her virginity tonight then she might as well too. Something stirred within her and she pushed against the slightly taller girl. She was everything Karma wasn't. She was blonde. Tall and extremely confident. The girl pulls back. "I'm Dinah. Are we taking this somewhere else or do you like kissing strangers?"

"Amy and somewhere else. Now." Amy's voice is strangled yet firm. Her mind is racing and Dinah looks at her for a minute before dragging Amy's face back to hers. Her lips ghost along Amy's as her fingers trail. One on Amy's cheek and the other on her hipbone. Dinah takes Amy by her hand and leads her through the crowd before pulling her upstairs. "Where?"

"My parents own the club. I have a room upstairs." Dinah's green eyes spark as she looks back at Amy. Amy can't tell if the flip flop is because she is going upstairs with a girl, she just kissed a girl that wasn't Karma or the fact that she was getting ready to lose her virginity. Amy watches as Dinah unlocks the door and locks it back after pulling Amy through. Dinah brings Amy's mouth back to her and kisses her with a deep passion.

Somehow they end up on the bed and Amy is confused before she is kissing Dinah again. It felt so good but so wrong. Guilt swam in her body. Karma was her best friend and hey were fake dating. Amy might even be in love with her. But Karma was with Liam right now. Jealously pooled deep inside Amy and she angrily ground against Dinah. "You sure you want to do this Amy?"

"Yes." She brings Dinah's lips to meet her own forcefully. "Do you worst."

Dinah begins to strip Amy of her cloths. At first Amy blushes until Dinah begins to place soft kisses along her stomach. Suddenly teeth dig into her hip bone and a groan pulls itself from her chest as heat flood her body and moves to where she can feel liquid pooling. Her body was responding in kind to Dinah and slowly her mind was leaving Karma behind as Dinah did things to her body she had never thought of. Dinah is kissing her. Dragging her tongue in her mouth before latching onto Amy's neck. SHe goran before pushing Dinah's head away. "No marks on my neck."

Dinah looks at her again slowly. Calculating before kissing Amy again, deeper. Dragging her fingers along Amy's bare skin. Amy bucks her hips without thought as long fingers drag over her jeans. A button unsnaps and suddenly fingers are move under her underwear. Finger plunge into her without warning and she feels pain. She screams out and bites into Dinah's shoulder to muffle the sound and have something tangible to hold onto. "Why didn't you tell me you were a virgin?" Worry tint the girl's voice.

Amy winces as she feels Dinah fingers still in her. It hurts yet there is an undertone of pleasure. She shifts her hips and feels both again. "Didn't think you'd have sex with me if you knew. Virgins aren't as experienced." She chuckles self depreciatively.

Dinah shakes her head. "I still would have had sex with you. I love sex. I love pleasuring girls. I would have been far more gentle though." Her fingers twitch slowly in Amy and she can't help but groan in both pain and pleasure before she begins to move against the fingers inside of her. "The pain will be gone soon." Amy moans in response as Dinah grins into Amy's neck before kissing her. Stealing Amy's breath away as she thrusts into Amy. Pleasuring the girl as much as she can. Amy's fingers fumble with Dinah's pants as she remembers Dinah needs to get off also. "It's fine, after your done." Amy groans in response as Dinah slips deeper. Her thigh pressing into her hand.

"Please. Faster." Amy's voice is rough with pleasure as her blue eyes meet green. Dinah nods, remembering her first time. She would bring Amy something amazing. Amy feels her body tightening. Her muscles bunching for something huge. She feels something burning in her abdomen as it travels lower. "I think I'm going to. I dont thin-"

"Shh. Let go, it's normal. Let go and feel." Dinah's voices flutters across Amy's ears as a deep husk before Amy does as she's told. Seconds later her fingers dig into Dinah's shoulder as her hips lift off the bed.

Amy comes down slowly, a soft blush across her chest and cheeks. She blinks slowly before looking to Dinah. Her fingers move to Dinah. Dinah's own long fingers grip hers. "Slow." Amy nods nervously before she slips her own fingers into Dinah. She watches as Dinah's breath stutters in her lung. She blinks and looks over Dinah's shoulder. Finger grip her chin and her finger twitch. She catches the way Dinah's hips bump into hers with the soft twitch. "Don't think, feel. Watch. Learn. Everything is about feeling." Amy swallows and nods as she moves her fingers again. She was having sex with someone. She lost her virginity. A sigh leaves her lips and Dinah pulls her in for a kiss as her hips begin to move faster. Amy curves her fingers and sets her other hand on Dinah's hips. She can feel the stutters of Dinah's breath against her lips. It seems like seconds later and Dinah slips her head down onto Amy's collar bone and pants. Amy feels the tightening around her fingers and widens them, pushing them in deeper. She feels Dinah's muscles bunch in her hip before she stiffens and sighs softly as her abdomen muscles twitch repeatedly. Dinah's green eyes are satisfied and lazy. "Not bad for your first time."

Amy lays down and watches as Dinah stretches out languishly. Amy closes her eyes and fights the guilt that is coming back. "What's with the face and the thinking?"

"I have a girlfriend." Amy's voice is strangled.

"Well fuck." Dinah's voice is annoyed.

"She's my fake girlfriend though." Dinah looks at Amy incredulously. "We are in a fake lesbian relationship because a gay guy mistook our friendship for relationship and outed us. We were popular and she loved it. We won homecoming queens and I came out on national tv with my very conservative mother as the reporter and right now she is having sex with a guy who is a man whore." Amy's words come out, getting more tear filled until tears drip down her face.

Dinah sighs. "Your friend sounds like a selfish bitch." Amy turns blue eyes to green. "She let you out yourself to your mother."

"No. Karma didn't know I was going to do that. Everyone tried to stop her. Not let me be seen as Karma's girlfriend. My evil stepsister who threatened to out me tried to get my mom to leave before she saw us. Karma didn't mention a thing and my mom said she was fine with Karma being gay because Karma wasn't her daughter and I should dial back on the sleepovers." Tears drip down her face. "I think my mom hates me. I'm in love with my best friend and she loves some guy who won't approve and isn't my dad."

"You can stay here tonight." Amy looks at the girl confused. "You shouldn't have to go home to your mom tonight. You certainly can't go to this Karma's house." Amy nods and sighs as she pulls the blanket up to cover her now cold body.

She can barely feel the pulse of the music through the sheets. It is silent except for their breathing and the soft undertone of music. "Thank you. Sorry for dragging you into this."

"Hey you needed to let of steam. Needed to feel something other than what you were feeling. I totally understand. And you weren't half bad. Better than most first timers." Amy blushes and slowly she migrates until her head is on Dinah's sheet covered chest. She can hear her heartbeat and sighs as she remembers listening to Karma's as a child. How could she not see this coming? She was in love with her best friend. Her eyes drifted shut and slowly both girls fell asleep. Unknown to them a phone buzzed on the floor. Screen lighting up but sound silenced. It buzzed again multiple times.

Morning came and Amy blinks as she looks to blonde hair strewn in her face. She stretches and fells an ache. Memories came flooding back and she sighs before pulling the blanket over her head. Her eyes widen as she saw the very naked body next to hers. She knew she had sex but nudity in the light of day was different. "Don't freak out goodness." Dinah's voice is sleep lidden. "We had sex no big deal. We can be friends, have more sex or never see eachother again." Amy swallows. "Just think about it. I can help you when you need it. I don't go to your school."

"F-friends sounds good." Amy's voice is muffled by the blanket.

Dinah yawns and then stretches. "Wait. How old are you?"

"Umm one month from sixteen. You?" Amy bites her lips nervously.

"Seventeen. and almost sixteen isn't to bad. Thought you might've been older. You look older." The blanket falls from Dinah's chest and Amy turns away with a blush, but not before seeing the deep purple mark on Dinah.

"Sorry for y'know." She motions nervously to Dinah's shoulder.

"For biting me?" Her voice is mirthful as she gets up. "Completely fine, I left some on you." She tosses Amy her clothes before turning around and looking in her dresser for something, completely nude.

Amy stutters and gets dressed. Pulling on underwear and jeans. She shifts uncomfortably and presses on the hickey across her hipbone and then one on her stomach. She moves to the mirror and spots one on her shoulder and then her collar bone. "Oh god, my mom is going to damn me. Karma will kill me."

"Your fine, it's just some bite marks. They'll be gone in three days. Cover them up and breathe. Everything is fine." Dinah's voice is straight forward as she gets dressed.

Amy nods slowly before taking her phone out of her pocket. It glares back at her with twenty missed calls. She winces and begins to look through them. She has twenty voicemails. Dinah steps over curiously and listens when Amy throws her a nervous grin.

Missed call #1 Karma 9:15 p.m "_Hey goofy answer your phone! I'm coming over, I need to tell you something. It involves Liam. Call me back or answer my next call."_

Missed call #2 Karma 9: 30 p.m "_Hey you, I talked to your mom, she was surprised you weren't with me. Guess she thought we were getting it on. Anyway call me back asap you goof. I'm heading over to Shane's to see you so answer the door or call me."_ Amy sighs before closing that message.

Missed Call #3 Karma 9:59 p.m "_Hey Shane said you left earlier around 8:30. Where are you? Place A B or C? Call me back Amy please? I'm getting worried now. Please answer or call._ Her voice became more worried and frantic.

Missed call #4 Shane. 10:13 p.m "_Hey Karma was just here. I didn't say anything about what you told me but can you please answer one of our calls. Karma is worried and I'm starting to be. This isn't some movie where you can vanish for some time and magically appear. Call me back Sapphic goddess."_ Dinah gave her an incredulous look but Amy shakes her head and clicks the next button.

Missed call #5 Karma. 10:20 p.m "_Currently I am at hiding place C. I don't see you yet. MARCO!" There was silence. "Well no Polo. Come on Amy I think I see a raccoon. Where are you? Ohh hey it's a cat. Here kitty kitty." There was a high pitch scream before the sound of feet running. "Not A kitty not a kitty. I was just chased by a raccoon call me back."_

Missed Call #6 KArma 10:40 p.m "_AMY! Where the hell are you? I looked everywhere. All your hiding spots. Please answer or call me. Your scaring me. Shane is looking for you to after I told him I couldn't find you. Please Amy I need to see you. You need to answer me."_ Amy felt guilt at her worry.

Missed Call #7 Karma. 10:58 p.m "_Dammit Amy answer the damn phone! Where are you? I'm going to your mother next. Please just answer me or text me or tell me something. I am scared Amy. If you're mad at me at least tell me or tell Shane."_

Missed call #8 Shane 11:20 p.m "_Girl your bf gf is freaking out and I think I might be too. Where are you? If you're mad at her or me just let us know your safe or alive. I'm starting to worry and I think Karma is going to your mom next. I know you think the world hates you. That you mom hates you but hurry back. Call back. Do something."_

Missed call #9 Karma 11:22 p.m "_I am so sorry for whatever i've done but please Amy you're scaring me. I need to see that you're alright or at least hear your alright. Shane says he isn't having any luck and i'm worried. Amy you need to answer one of us. I know you never turn your phone off so please listen to us."_

Missed Call #10 Karma 11:30 p.m "_I told your mom I couldn't find you. It's been two hours since I first called you. You need to answer your phone. Everyone is freaking out, please Amy I am so worried. I checked all the highest buildings. The park. I even checked the cemetery because your into that stuff and nothing. Just, just come home okay? Please I am worried."_

Missed Call # 11 Mom 11:35 p.m "_Amy, I know everything is a mess right now but you need to come home. Shane and Karma both stopped by to ask where you were. You said you were going to Shane's. Where are you? I don't care if you think you aren't welcome in this house, get back here quickly. Your my daughter. I love you."_

Missed Call # 12 Shane 11:38 p.m "_Karma and I visited your family. Your mom is worried. She keeps talking about acceptance and running away. Even mentioned kidnapping. Please just call back. She said you were a mess when you left and I saw that. Just call, text, do something."_

Missed call # 13 Bitch Next Room 11: 40 p.m "_I have no idea whats going on through your head but your mom still loves you. Karma is freaking out and their talking about missing persons report. Just get your vagitarian ass home and hurry. Nothing else matters but they want you home."_

Missed Call # 14 Karma 11:55 p.m "_God Amy please answer. It's been almost three hours since I called you. You always answer my phone. Everyone's worried especially me. You never not answer your phone so please do something. Just let us know your okay. I'm sorry for all of this, if you want i'll break up with you or you can break up with me and tell your mom the truth. Whatever you want. I just want you to feel safe and be safe. You are my best friend please call me."_

Missed call # 15 Bitch Next Door 12:10 a.m "_Seriously everyone is freaking out. Your curfew was ten minutes ago and now everyone is more worried than before. I over heard Karma mentioning breaking up. I was never going to tell your mom but you need to come home. Or at least call or text. I'm mad you got my crown but that was before you came out to your mom, you're still my sister even if I hate your guts and how you became popular. Just come home."_

Missed call # 16 Mom 12: 15 a.m "_Please come home Amy, i'm not even mad about you missing curfew. I just want you home. Karma keeps calling to see if you've shown up yet. Shes scouring the town for you and so is your dad. Well step dad but he still cares about you. Come home Amy. I know I upset you but you need to be home. Youre only 15. I'm worried. I love you. Please come home."_

Missed call # 17 Karma 12:30 a.m "_Amy i've looked everywhere. No one has seen you. I keep calling your mom but she says you aren't in yet. I called Liam, he's driving us around. Please call me back. I love you. Youre scaring me. Shane and Liam dropped me off at the old park we used to go to, so if your here come out please. I've checked everywhere else. Amy just come home. You are always on time. You never miss a call. I'm worried."_

Missed call #18 Karma 12: 45 a.m "_I'm back at your house. My parents know what's going on. Theyre waiting at my house if you show up. Please come home."_ Another voice interrupts Karma's. It was her mother. "_Amy just come home please. It's getting late you never miss curfew." _Karma's voice comes back on. "_Just give us a sign Amy, your scaring me. Just, I love you. Your my best friend nothing else matters. Nothing." _There was a crash of plates in the background and Amy could picture her mother dropping plates at the sound of Karma saying I love you.

Missed call #19 Karma 1:12 a.m "_Shane called, he and Liam haven't found anything and their parents made them go home. They checked everywhere too. Just call me please. My insides are dying and I think I might puke i'm so worried."_ Amy can hear the forced chuckle of Karma trying to make a joke. "_Just call me. Do something Amy. Please. Just please."_

Missed call #20 Karma 1:45 a.m "_I think your mom drugged me. I drank tea and now i'm woozy. Your step-dad said to quit blowing up your phone." _Karma's speech was slurred. "_I want to keep calling you but your parents are watching me and I don't think my fingers can dial. I love you, come home."_ The is the distinct sound of a phone dropping on the floor. She hears a shuffle. "_Amy its mom, Karma was working herself into a fit so we gave her something. Just call us back. I know your phone only has so much space but I hope you listen to these messages. I love you, come home."_

"You missed curfew?" There is a smirk in Dinah voice.

"Shut up." Amy gets out with a frantic expression. "My mom is crazy sometimes. When I was a kid she was worried everyone would kidnap me. I didn't leave her side until I was seven. And I always answer the phone. Shit. Fuck I need to call them." Her fingers press into her phone before it dies. "Damn it I need to see them."

"Slow down tiger. Let me drive you home before you go running out of here. Take a shower and get dress. You look like you just had sex and i'm sure everyone would freak out if they saw you like this. Breath thirty minutes won't kill them. It's only ten in the morning on a Saturday." Dinah's voice calms Amy somewhat before she does as she's told, forgetting about her phone momentarily. Dinah sighs and five minutes later Amy steps out hair dripping and towel wrapped around her. Dinah smirks and grabs a sweatshirt and tosses it at Amy. "It's clean and doesn't smell like sweat or sex. There are some jeans over there you can borrow." Amy nods and leaves to the bathroom. She steps out minutes later and Dinah grins as she walks Amy down the stairs and to her car. "Just give me directions and I'll get you there reasonable."

"Thank you." Amy looks at Dinah through her lashes. "For everything."

Dinah softens her grin. "No problem. If you ever need someone not involved in your crazy life call my up. I'll do whatever I can to help. Talking. Dinner. Sex. Ranting."

Amy blushes deeply and nods her head before they pull onto her road. Dinah stops in the driveway. She pulls Amy into a kiss. "Remember that, it'll remind you of everything. Don't regret anything. It was amazing. Good luck with your bf gf and parents. Call me anytime, my numbers in the shirt I lent you."

"Thanks again. I'll see you later. I go to Hester if we ever cross paths."

Dinah grins. "Graduated already, few grades ahead." She winks at Amy and pulls out of the driveway. Amy finally sees the curtain move, thankful that no one saw Dinah kiss her. She buries her hands into the jeans pocket's and opens her door. Her mom pulls her into a hug.

"Where were you? you are so grounded! I love you but you are ten hours late." She eyes her daughter. "In different clothing."

"I stayed at a friends house, my phone was on silent and we fell asleep. I spilt my coffee this morning and took a shower." Amy adverts her eyes, not wanting to see her mothers questioning gaze.

"Im glad your home because you are grounded beyond grounded!" Feet trip down the stair and she catches sight of Karma before there is a vice like grip around her middle and a face pressed into her neck. She flashes as she remembers the last person there.

"God Amy I am so pissed at you!" Karma pulls back and her fingers close around Amy's cheeks. "Do you know how many times I called you? Do you know how worried I was?"

"Yeah you were pretty worried around eight last night." Amy's voice is harsh and her mother looks to the two of them. Her eyes dart between them sensing an argument.

"I didn't see you at eight last night. I was hanging out with Liam. You were with Shane! I don't care what you think, I was worried! I thought you ran away or was dead. Or kidnapped! You scared me half to death and an-." Karma's lips tremble and Amy sighs as she pulls her into a hug.

"My phone was on silent. I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry you were worried. I just needed to get away from everything." Neither girl noticed Amy's mom watching and listening to them. "I thought I was going to explode. I just needed to get out. I needed to breathe."

"I thought something bad had happened Amy. Not knowing if you were okay scared me so much." Karma's hands clench around Amy's borrowed sweater. As if realizing Amy was okay and she was in odd clothes Karma tilted her head. "Whose is this?"

"A friend." Karma raised her eyebrows and Amy rolled her eyes. "Dinah. I went over there last night."

"Who the hell is Dinah?" Karma's voice is confused.

"A friend." Amy moves to the stairs. "I'm going to plug my phone in, it died. Am I still grounded or is Karma staying?"

Farrah looks at the two girls. "She can stay for another thirty minutes but then she goes home. You're grounded for missing curfew and not calling."

The girls walk up the stair and Lauren spots them. "About time you're home."

"Fuck off bottle blonde." Karma's voice is harsh as she pulls Amy to her room. Amy turns and watches as Lauren sighs and nods at her. Amy nods back. They sit on Amy's bed, the door shut. "Where were you?"

"At a friends house. Dinah." She can see the question forming in Karma's eyes. "So what happened with you and Liam?"

Karma sighed. "He made another move on me, said he was happy to be having sex with a lesbian. So before he could get my shirt off I left, told him I couldn't. All he wants is to have sex with a lesbian. It's so annoying. I want him to want me not fake me." Karma sighs and falls into Amy's shoulder. Her eyes furrow and she pulls at the sweater. "What did you do?"

Amy jumps away and pulls the shirt back over her hickey. "Nothing."

"You totally made out with someone. Who? This Dinah person?" Karma's voice was different. It made Amy confused yet happy.

"Nobody okay. Just some random in a club" Amy shrugs and sits back down on the bed.

"Okay okay. But that is so going to show at school on Monday." Karma's grin is teasing. "They'll think we're having amazing sex." Amy laughs but also blushes before shoving on Karma's shoulder. Karma laughs. "Oh god. My parents. If they see that they will go on and on about sexual energy."

Amy laughs weakly. "My mom would most likely drop me off at some gay camp." Amy stops laughing then sighs lowly as she slumps into Karma's shoulders. Outside Amy's door her mom freezes. She had heard Karma mention her parents and energy. Her heart had stopped at Amy's words. Is that what Amy really thought of her? That she would send her daughter there?

"She loves you Amy. She wouldn't send you there." Amy scoffs. "And if she did I'd come and bail you out. We're in this together. We're in everything together."

Amy nods slowly. "Yeah. Karma?" Karma hums as she looks at her. "Do you think everything will be alright?"

Karma claps her hands and the lights shut off. "Everything will work out. And i'll be there like I was with the dark. I'll find another way. Find the stars." Karma hugs Amy tightly.

"I'm not anxious this time Kar. I'm scared." Her lips tremble and Karma pulls her into a tight hug. Rocking Amy slightly, quietly.

Outside the door Farrah could hear her daughter's words. She remembers the dark and Karma finding the solution with stars when no one else could, not even Amy's father. She was the only one to even think of a solution. She remembers watching them grow up and tears fill her eyes at listening to her daughter admit she was scared. Lauren's eyes connected with her tear filled ones. Lauren averts her gaze before walking forward and holding out her hand. The two walked downstairs. "I scare my own daughter."

Lauren looks at her step-mother. "No. She's scared of the world. Scared of the people. Scared of your opinion not of you. She loves you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Not anxious, Scared**

**Disclaimer****: I own nothing mentioned in this story**

**Chapter two**

A knock on the door wakes up a messy haired blonde on Sunday morning. "Amy." Her mother's voice is soft and meek. So unlike her natural zest. The girl pulls the blanket off of her head and turns blue eyes to her mother. "Breakfast is ready. Bruce made it." There's an awkward tugging at Farrah's lips, like she wants to laugh but can't.

"Okay. I'll be done in a minute." Amy sits up in bed and turns her back to her mom. Farrah shuts the door with a sigh. Her face screws up in confusion and sadness as she realizes that Amy didn't make her usual sarcastic comment. Her fingers run through her hair then pull at her blouse before she heads downstairs. Upstairs Amy sits with her finger tugging through the curls that escape her bun then her shirt, an unconscious nervous gesture. A sigh escapes her lips as she pulls her hair loose from it's tie. It falls around her in wave, the shower last night making the waves shine. She moves off of the bed and heads to the closet.

She shakes herself, moving her fingers from on of her Sunday clothes to shut the door. She walks down the stairs to the kitchen. She takes in Lauren's skirt and shirt. Bruce stands in confusion with his deep blue dress shirt on. His tie sits undone around his neck. He turns to her and an awkward grin spreads across his face. "I've made some bacon and omelets." Amy opens her mouth. "Don't worry nothing gluten touched anything. Your mom supervised." Amy nods stiffly, eyes downcast. Lauren watches her soon to be sister. The girl was a walking disaster. Gluten intolerant and allergic to peanuts. She couldn't have most sweets and her dad was still learning to cope with living with two daughters and learning what Amy can and can't have.

Amy sits next to Lauren. Farrah watches her daughter with a pained looked and Bruce sets down the food. Lauren wrinkles her nose at her father's burned bacon and rubbery omelet. Farrah eats it with a half smile twitching at her lips. Amy pushes her food around and sips her water. Lauren places a bite in her mouth and barely holds in a grimace. "I think i'll have some fruit daddy."

He lets out a loud boisterous chuckle. "Eat some toast sweetheart. All that fruit can't be the only thing you eat." She nods and her dad turns back to his food. She gets into the cabinet and places toast in the toaster. Her eyes watch everyone as she pulls out a pill bottle and swallows the bright white pill. She hides the bottle back behind the black licorice.

Amy continues to push her food around and Farrah's worried eyes flicker over her daughter's form. She looked healthy but she hadn't eaten anything yesterday or today. "Amy, honey, are you going to eat." Lost blue eyes met her own as she shoves a bite of bacon and egg into her mouth. Her face doesn't change as she downcast her eyes and continues to move her food around as she chews. Bruce shoots Farrah a look as no sarcasm greets him. "There fruit if you want it." Amy shrugs. Her thoughts running. She couldn't look at her mother, couldn't handle the disappointment and disgust. So she kept her head down. Her mom was making idle conversation like nothing was wrong. Amy shakes her head and blinks her eyes. "Honey are you wearing your pajamas to church?"

Amy's shocked eyes fly to her mother's. Church was sacred in her family. They went every Sunday. Tears prick her eyes but she turns them down. "You still want me to go?" Disbelief and fear coat her voice.

Farrah swallows and tears prick her eyes. She turn sad eyes to Bruce who clamps a hand on her shoulder in comfort. "Of course. You've been going since you were in me honey. Why wouldn't I want you to go?"

Lauren watches them silently. Watches as her father unconsciously comforts Farrah. Her heart aches as she remembers the last time her father did that to her mother. She was nine and then everything went to shit. She was thirteen when her mom left. When she found out the truth. Amy shrugs. "I figured you wouldn't want your lesbian daughter at church. They might shame you."

Farrah shifts in her seat as she fights the urge to stand up and hug her daughter. Amy hadn't been hugged properly since her father died years ago. She distanced herself so well, behind sarcasm and anger. "I love you Amy. I don't know what to do or how to act but I love you. That will never change. You're my baby. Mine. I could never abandon you or shame you." She winces. "You. What you told me is so confusing Amy. I-I don't know what to do. I've been taught and shown certain things. I expected things. But I never expected you to come out. I'm so lost right now." Farrah pulls at her perfectly curled hair and Bruce's fingers lace through hers, calming the tense and nervous movement.

"I'm lost too!' Lauren watches them, Amy's emotions seem so real. She knows Amy and Karma are faking it but those emotions, the lost look and panic and pain. It seems so real. She's seen Amy lie before. She sucks, she grins awkwardly and her eyes get to bright. She wasn't lying. She was lost and confused. Long fingers dig into wavy blonde hair, almost exactly like her mother. "Everything is flipped upside down mom! You hate me! The church i've gone to for almost sixteen years is going to hate me!" Tears fall out of Amy's eyes and she wipes them away in frustration.

Farrah stands up. "I LOVE YOU! I could never hate you." Hurt flickers in Farrah's eyes as Bruce rubs her back soothingly. "How could you think that?"

"You said you didn't care if Karma was a lesbian because she wasn't your daughter! How could I not think you hate me?!" Amy's eyes bore into her mother's and Farrah can see Amy's father, Daniel, in her. The way she holds herself, underneath all of that sarcasm that made Amy, was pieces of her father.

"I was shocked and confused. I've never had to deal with lesbians before. I don't kno-" Farrah's hands move with her words.

"Deal with? Is that what it is to you? Dealing with me being a lesbian?" Amy's voice is loud and hurt.

Bruce steps between them. "Enough, both of you. I get that you are both hurt but you need to calm down. This is a new experience for all of us. None of us knows how to act or do anything. Everyone is confused." His eyes turn to Amy. "Why don't you go get dressed?" Amy walks past them. Her breathing harsh as she runs up to her room. "Far."

"I know Bruce I know. I shouldn't have yelled at her, but she thinks I hate her! I can't deal with my daughter hating me." Bruce pulls her into a hug, rubbing his hand across her shoulders soothingly. Lauren watches with a pained expression before she turns and moves to go to her room.

She slips into the shared bathroom and brushes her teeth. Sounds come from Amy's room and slowly Lauren opens the door. Amy is tearing apart her room. Lauren takes in Amy's panicked and pained expression. "What're you looking for?"

Amy jumps and manages to throw the pants she has at Lauren. They smack her in the chest as Amy puts her own hand over her panicked heart. "JEEZ!"

Lauren holds up her hands. "Sorry, I heard you and was wondering if you were okay." Amy scoffs. "No, i'm serious."

Amy crosses her arms, her tears forgotten as they finish their track down her face.. "Really? Why would you care? If I get kicked out then you can get my room and my mom."

"I don't care about your fucking room!" Amy's eyes widen in shock before she steps forward defiantly. Lauren continues speaking. "Fuck, you can't let anyone get a word in without a sarcastic comment can you? Hear me out, I get that you're in pain but quit taking it out on your mother. She loves you, you're lucky."

"I'm lucky? Are you kidding me? My mom can't look at me or talk to me normally and i'm in love with my best friend. I slept with someone last night so don't tell me my life isn't complicated!" Amy's face is warring with emotions as she argues.

Lauren steps forward until they are face to face. Her finger pokes into Amy's chest. "Your mom still loves you. Mine hates me, she left me. Acts like I don't exist. Like I was some burden. I fucking loved this boy at my last school. I slept with him at a party and he dumped me after two weeks because he found a new conquest. Face it we're both handed a bunch of shit this life."

"So what, we're supposed to bond over our life sucking ass?" Amy crosses her arms.

Lauren rolls her eyes. "No you can't bond of a sucky-ass life." She crosses her arms and scowls. "Daddy always says trust is needed. We both say something no one else knows." Amy watches her. "I have to go first? Fine." Lauren huffs. "I'm on antidepressants."

Amy stares at her in shock. "What?"

"This is where you tell me something no-one knows." Lauren mocks her with crossed arm and a scowl.

Amy's face is pained and her voice low. "I'm a lesbian. I'm in love with karma."

"I knew that already dork." Lauren rolls her eyes, then looks back to Amy's bright blue eyes.

Amy huffs. "Fine, I slept with a random girl last night. And Karma doesn't know I have feelings for her." Lauren chokes on her saliva in shock, not having caught or paid attention to the fact that Amy did say she spelt with someone last night.

"Seriously?" Amy nods numbly. "Why did you sleep with someone while dating her? Fake dating, whatever." Lauren looks at Amy full of worry.

"I don't. Karma was, she, I can't explain it." Amy's hands pull at her hair.

Lauren's eyes dart until she sighs and pulls Amy's hands away from her hair and face. "You're going to pull out all your hair, I swear you and your mom. And let me guess Karma and Liam were going to get it on?" Amy's eyes flash with shock and Lauren rolls hers. "They're not subtle at all and I saw them kissing in the art room once." Amy steps back with a sharp breath.

"Yeah, they ended up not having sex. I lost my virginity because I thought she was and I don't know! Everything was so fucking confusing and why the hell am I telling you this?!" Amy turns and paces the room. Lauren watches with an unimpressed look.

"You think i'd tell everyone what was going on?" Lauren voice was sarcastic and unimpressed.

"DUH! You fucking hate me. Why wouldn't you?" Amy throws her arms out in frustration.

Lauren rolls her eyes. "Look her vagitarian, I just told you i'm on antidepressants. That's something bigger than you lesbian quadrilateral or square triangle thing." Lauren's hands flutter around before she stops. "We both have dirt on the other so we're good. Trust or whatever. Now get dressed before they come up here."

"They probably think I either killed you and stuffed you in the closet." Amy smirks and moves to her closet.

"Did you just make a lesbian joke?" Lauren voice is unimpressed but amusement causes her lips to curl slightly. Amy hums in acknowledgment. "Great your sarcastic ass is back."

Amy smirks. "Get out of her unless you want to see me naked." Lauren rolls her eyes and leaves through the bathroom door.

Amy sighs, her grin slowly fading. Was she in the twilight zone?

* * *

The Raudenfeld's and Copper's make their way to Church. The two girls sit in the back seat quietly as a song plays lowly on the radio. Amy picks at her fingernails and her face is tilted down. Lauren stares out the window, boredom evident on her face. Farrah keeps shooting looks to her daughter, who seems to be getting more nervous. Her fingers pull and tear at a piece of paper before stuffing it in her pocket. She thing begins to toy with her phone. Typing then erasing messages. Farrah is brought out of her starring as Bruce's hand settles on hers. She smiles at him like the sun breaking through the clouds.

She hadn't felt anything remotely like this since Daniel. No one could replace Daniel but Bruce had his own place in her heart. He was it for her. If she lost him she didn't know what she would do. He had religious and familial issues concerning gays yet he had told her upfront that he didn't care if Amy died her hair pink and got a tattoo. He'd ground her because she was only 15 but Amy was slowly becoming his daughter. They were family and he wouldn't do what his father had done. He wouldn't disown his kid. God made you in the image he believe and Bruce may struggle with coming to terms with it but he was trying. Just like she was. Feelings were so confusing.

The car pulls into the parking lot and they exit it. Farrah's fingers ache to touch her daughter. She hug her and show that she was here for her. But Amy hadn't liked being touched since Daniel died. She had shied away from it. Blaming the world for taking him away. The therapists Farrah had talked to said Amy was distancing herself so if she lost someone else maybe it wouldn't hurt as bad. They said to let Amy know Farrah wasn't leaving. To be there for her. Bruce slips his hand in Farrah's, then slides his arm around Lauren's shoulder. The girl rolls her eyes but leans into it. Farrah stretches her fingers out and they settle on her daughters shoulder. Amy jerks but her shoulders relax as she slows down and lets her mom bring her closer. Amy gnaws on her lips nervously. Waiting for the jeers. The looks. She couldn't do this to her family. Farrah and Bruce sign them in and lead the way. Amy and Lauren falling behind them. "Don't even think of it." Lauren's voice is quiet yet hard.

"What?" Amy looks around nervously as she speaks lowly to Lauren.

"Do not run. Even if you want to. You're just going to show them they've won. Hold your head high and shoulders back. Don't let them see you weak because they will pounce like wolves." Lauren's eyes remain ahead. Her face stonic as always and her back straight.

"i wasn't going to run." Amy's voice is indignant as she straightens her posture and slowly raises her head."

"Sure you weren't. And don't focus on the stares. Stare straight ahead at your moms head until we sit down. Their looks will just make you feel worse." Lauren continues as if she isn't giving Amy advice on how to fool a crowd.

"How do you know this?" Amy focuses on her mothers head but her eyes flicker to Lauren. The girl looks like she always does. Skirt and shirt pressed and ironed. Jewelry on her throat and hair straight as pins. They are opposites. Amy in black leggings and a knee length soft grey skirt and dark black dress shirt.

A look passes Lauren's face and Amy just barely catches it. "Nobody likes a Debby Downer especially if she's on pills." Amy opens her mouth. "And don't even say your sorry. I don't need pity."

Amy nods her head and sighs in relief when they are seated in their normal booth. That walk had felt like a millennium. "Thank you." Lauren just nods.

Amy's eyes travel around the room until they meet the late Mrs. Hamleton. Hatred and disgust burns deep in her eyes and Amy feel tears prick at her own. Lauren's had lands on her own in the seat. "Don't let them get to you." Lauren voice is surprisingly understanding and it brings Amy shock. She was so desperate to hate Lauren and Bruce for trying to fill her father's spot, she had just focused on reasons to hate them. It had been a year and she still didn't know a thing about Lauren because Amy was acting like a child.

In this moment Amy feels like something changes. "Sure you wanna be seen holding my hand?" Amy's voice is soft and threatening to let tears fall.

"Please. As if you could get someone like me." Lauren's voice is so Lauren that it causes Amy to chuckle wetly. Tears caught in her throat and eyes. Never falling. Slowly the preacher walks to the front and begins to speak. His eyes connect with her own and in them she sees understanding and most of all love. HE was a man of god and to not see a look of hate make her want to cry for different reasons than before. Never before had she wanted to cry in church. Let alone twice. The last time she had cried before this last year was when her father died. Losing him crippled her.

Two hours pass by and people begin to file out. The preacher comes straight to Amy and she feels her heartbeat quicken. "Amy."

"Pastor Black." Her voice is strangled and she feels her mother's hand touching the hand that isn't clutching onto Lauren's like it's a lifeline.

She waits for the harsh words, her mind telling her she should expect that. "Your father would be proud." He smiles softly at her, his face wrinkling in the way that people who smile to much do. She swallows but can't stop the tears from rolling down her face. Pastor Black had been there since she was a baby. He had helped her through so many things. He taught her to play soccer, his son helping by taking her own father on for a friendly game to show her the rules. Pastor Black had helped her through grieving. She had screamed at him. Asking questions about why god would take her father. He listened to her scream about her hate of god then gently explain that god understood her had, he understood everything. Pain makes you blame. Pain cripples you but god was love. The were no answers to why besides gods will. He dad was gone but god would watch over them. Her father would watch over her. Hearing these words from him, a man so prominent in her life and so close to her father struck her deeply.

He pulls her into a hug and she sobs into his shoulder. Everyone had given them privacy as the masses were in the next room for refreshments. She clings to him and lets it flood out. Farrah watches and tears fill her own eyes. Seeing her daughter crying so hardly. These were body racking sobs and they ate away at Farrah's heart. Lauren swallows and turns her eyes elsewhere as her dad hugs Farrah to his body, whispering words into her ear. Pastor black whispers softly into Amy's ear. "God is love. No matter what anyone tells you God is love. Never hate. Those who hate you because of who you are, are just vindictive people who can't wrap their minds around the true meaning of God. Everyone is entitled to their opinion but God's is the only one that matters and he loves you for who you are. Not what people want you to be Amy." Amy sobs loudly and nods. "Your dad would be so proud of you, braving the world like this. Telling people something that shouldn't be hidden but is hated is brave Amy." He pulls her face away from him and wipes the tears away. "You are brave my child." Amy nods and throws her arms around him again. He rubs her back soothingly, this girl was like his own granddaughter. He cared for her. He understood her after years of grieving.

He stands and brings Amy to stand with him. He pulls out some tissues. "Take as long as you need. Refreshments are that way. Everything is labeled so you don't have to worry about your allergies." Amy nods her thanks. The words stuck in her throat. He leaves the family alone to compose themselves.

Farrah struggles internally before pulling Amy into a hug. Surprising Amy relaxes into her mother's embrace and Farrah feels something in her break. This was her little girl. It didn't matter what her mother thought. What the others in church wanted. This was her daughter. Her baby. And maybe her baby liked girls. maybe she was gay and some people thought it was a sin. Her own mother did but this was her daughter. This was her life and she would learn to change for Amy. That's what love is. Changing and growing for those who need you. Her body grew to accommodate for Amy when she was pregnant, her views can change for Amy now that she has come out. It might not be easy but this was her daughter. Her flesh and blood. "ready to face the masses sweetheart?" Farrah's voice has its normal lit to it. That quirky thing kids had made fun of her mom for but it makes Amy's heart sing. She spots the love in her mother's eye, it's overcoming the confusion and pain but maybe this was a start. A beginning to something new.

Lauren pulls the tissues out of Amy's had and looks over Amy's face. "You're not a splotchy crier. You face looks fine."

Amy chuckle throatily. "Thanks. All of you. Sorry for being a jerk." She waves her hands around as she blushes.

Bruce chuckles awkwardly. "It's fine kid, you were struggling. Everyone is allowed to be a jerk once in a while. Lord knows I was like that when Lauren's mom left me." He grins softly. "I don't know if my sweetheart has grown out of her jerk faze." It's teasing and Lauren's eyes sparkle in love but she rolls her eyes at her father good naturedly.

"Whatever you say father." A half smile tugs at Lauren's lips before she turns and begins stalking to the refreshment room. They walk in as a family unit. A newly wed couple drag Farrah and Bruce to talk about the annual last Sunday barbecue and with a nod from both Lauren and Amy, they leave to the corner.

Eyes follow the two girls where they walk to the food table and an old couple comes forward. The woman looks to Amy, hate in her eyes. "You're going to burn in hell unless you atone for your sins. God doesn't do gays." She spits the words out.

Lauren steps forward and tilts her head. "But he take bigoted idiots who force their opinions on people." Her tone and glare is scathing. Amy was going to be her step-sister and she was the only one who could make fun of Amy.

The woman glares at Lauren. "You will rot in hell."

"I thought we were going to burn." Lauren walks past the woman and grabs a drink.

The other three follow her and Amy sighs in relief. "Thanks."

"No need. I've been meaning to tell her off for months." Lauren sniffs. "She told me my manicure looked like a monkey had done it. Bitch." Amy laughs lightly and the atmosphere calms. People continue to stare at Amy. Some in hate, others in pity. Some even stare at her in pride and others in worry. This was a big but close-knit church. Amy had been going here since she was in her mom's womb and most churchgoers remember and wild haired seven year old chasing the boys around for stealing her bow.

Bruce and Farrah join the two girls and Bruce speaks first, his voice soft. "How about a late lunch?" The three women nod and he heads to the car, his hand tangled into Farrah's as the two girls trail after the adults.

* * *

Amy flops onto her bed and sighs loudly. Laying there for a few minutes everything runs full speed through her head. She had went to church. They let her into church and then she had sobbed her eyes out to Pastor Black and then Lauren defended her. It was feeling more and more like the twilight zone and she prayed it wasn't a dream. She didn't know what she would do if she woke up to find her mother hated her. God hugging her mother felt like old time. It felt safe and she missed that feeling. Digging into her pocket she texts the number she had been debating on all day. "_I went to church this morning."_

She fidget incessantly before she gets a reply. _"Nice to know you go to church, who is this?"_

_"It's Amy."_ Amy sends it before she can type anything else. If Dinah doesn't remember her then she'll talk to Shane. Maybe he can let her vent without thinking of some huge party to throw in her honor. She loved him but he was sometime a but eccentric.

The reply is moments later. "_Oh, sorry. Once had an ex write my number on the bathroom stall. Was waiting for the you should burn in hell lesbian. So how'd did your church experience go?"_

Amy sighs in relief. Dinah was the only one knew the whole story and wasn't connected to anyone but her. "_It was surprising. My pastor told me God is love and that my dad would be proud. My mom said she doesn't hate me. Lauren defended me... I feel like i'm in the twilight Zone."_

_"Yeah, it will feel like the Twilight Zone for a few days. People show their true colors when given something they view as life-changing. Be thankful you have supporting people around you. And your pastor sound like a good man. Now that you've got that all calmed down, hows the gf/bf situation?"_ Amy sighs as she reads the message. Today had been an odd day. So confusing yet freeing.

_"I haven't spoken to her today... Usually she's busy on Sundays. Her parents like to take her with them when they take their truck stand around."_ The blonde watches they phone and then looks at the time it was one in the afternoon.

_"Awesome, wanna hang?"_ Dinah's reply was quick and Amy stared at the phone in confusion. Were she and Dinah friends? How would this work out?

_"Sure, where?"_ Amy sighs as she tucks her head under her pillow. She feels the bed vibrates and just lays there for a minute.

_"Coffee shop, Cafe Sol, you know it?"_ Amy stares at the phone as she searches through her memories.

_"Yeah, the one off of Wyatt Street right?"_ She stares at the phone as she debates texting Karma. Her mom did say she was grounded but would she let her go out.

"_The one and only."_ Amy sighs and gets up. She slips on some dark jeans and a long sleeved shirt. She pulls a dark beanie over her head before heading downstairs.

"Mom." Amy's voice rings out in the house and she follows the noise to the basement where her mom is in sweats and a tank top. "Mom?"

"Yes sweetcheeks?" Her moms voice is slowly turning back into her old excitement. It's still wary as if she can't figure out how to address her daughter.

"My friend Dinah wants to know if I can go to the coffee street off of Wyatt." Amy shuffles her feet and stares at the floor. This morning was groundbreaking but something still felt off. Hopefully time would help.

"Amy." Farrah's voice is tired.

Amy sighs. "I know. I'm grounded." Her eyes won't look at her mother. Still afraid of what she will see. This could all be an act. Pull the rug right out from underneath her.

"Amy look at me." Farrah's voice is tired before it takes on a pleading note. "Please Amy." Slowly Amy's green eyes move up to meet her moms. "I love you. I thought you had run away last night." Amy opens her mouth and Farrah sighs. "I know, you fell asleep. You can go. Just be home before four. Please."

"Thanks mom." Amy smiles softly before taking a few steps back. She looks nervously to the door and then her mom before rushing forward to hug her quickly. Just as quickly as she hugged her she is gone up the stairs. "Love you." Whispered softly into her mothers ear.

Farrah stares at the closed door, tear filling her eyes before falling down her face. She brings her hand up to her mouth and sobs softly. Amy had willingly hugged her. So many years had passed, almost five since David had died. God, it felt like a dam breaking. Amy actually showed some type of love. No sarcasm. No backwards comment. As Farrah breaks down in joy in the basement Amy leaves the house and begins to walk. She gets a text as she makes it two block. "Get into the grey car to your right. DO not make eye contact with the driver."

Amy chuckles before slipping into the car. Deliberately she turns and meets eyes with Dinah."You follows directions like a deaf old woman."

"Old woman? Ouch." Amy feels a smile tugging t her lips and Dinah moves forward, her lips pecking Amy's cheek, the corner of her mouth.

Dinah grins as she pulls back and begins to drive. "did my kiss sooth the pain my words inflicted?"

Amy laughs. "Do you want me to say no and pucker my lips?"

Dinah's eyes flicker briefly to Amy's lips before she smirks. "Wouldn't hurt."

Amy laughs and feels a smile tugging at her lips before she leans over and kisses Dinah on the cheek. "There. Feel better now?"

Dinah rolls her eyes. "Smartass."

"That's what everyone says." Amy nods softly as she bobs her head to the music. They pull onto the side of the road and both get out of the car.

"This is one of my favorite places besides the club." Dinah's face seems to relax and they both place their order. "It's quiet and mostly unknown." They sit in the back as they wait for their drinks. Soft music plays in the background and Dinah watches Amy with understanding curious eyes. "So how'd today go?"

Amy blinks slowly as she stares at the paintings on the wall. "It was. God I don't even have words." Amy runs a finger through her hair. "I thought they hated me. I thought they were disgusted with me." Tears prick her eyes. "But they aren't or at least they say they aren't."

Dinah grips Amy's hand from across the table. "That's good. Whatever goes down you have me also. We may have just met but us lesbians have to stick together." Dinah winks at he and Amy blushes. Their drinks come and they continue to talk for what seems like hour before Amy catches sight of two people that make her heart stop. Liam Booker and Karma sit on the far side of the coffee shop. Amy and Dinah were in the far back corner, unseen by them. "What's wrong?"

"My best friend slash fake girlfriend is over there with her boy friend or boy toy. She said they haven't slept together." Amy stares at the two of them, face in pain,

"Straight friend crush. She's cute. Kinda bitchy in my opinion." Amy stares at her. "Hey if you were my girlfriend slash best-friend I wouldn't be hanging around with some guy. You're hot and kinda funny" Dinah shrugs her shoulders as if she says those words every day and Amy stares at her. "What?"

Amy shakes her head. "She my fake girlfriend." Amy looks around to see if anyone had heard her.

Dinah grins. "So she wouldn't get jealous if I did something." Amy's eyes widen. And Dinah leans forward as she sees the boy recognizing Amy. "Don't looks so uncomfortable, I'm not going to kiss you." Dinah's fingers dance across Amy's throat and her fingers tickle along the hickeys on Amy's neck. She had covered it with make up this morning but it had rubbed off. Amy can't see Karma and Liam but by Dinah smirk she can bet Karma's face is getting more pissed off and she can hear the click of her shoes before Dinah speaks up in a low whisper, purposefully letting Karma hear. "The cover up has been rubbed off." Amy shivers as she remembers last night. The same sultry tone when she was speaking softly to Amy. Naked. In bed.

"Amy, who's this?" Karma's voice is that fake polite tone that she uses when she's angry but trying not to come off as angry.

Amy swallows as she catches sight of Karma's face. She looks confused angry and something else. "This is Dinah." Recognition flashes in Karma's eyes. "I was just telling her how I was grounded for falling asleep at her house."

Dinah smirks. "Shame you left so early." Dinah is baiting Karma and Amy knows it.

"I thought you were grounded?" Karma's voice is hurt. Why hadn't Amy texted her first.

"I was. I am." Amy furrows her brows. "Mom just wants me home before four."

Dinah stands and pulls Amy up. "Speaking of which Am, we have to go if I want to get you home before four." She winks at Karma before grabbing Amy's wrist and pulling her to the car.

Amy's face flushes as she passes Liam. Once they're in the car Liam stands up and goes to Karma. "I thought you and Amy are dating."

Karma looks at him. "We are. They're just friends."

Liam looks to the window where the two girls were getting into a car. "They didn't lo-"

Karma interrupts him. "They're just friends."

Liam nods before sighing. "Anyway, like I said. I can't be with you. I like you, a lot but Shane brought it to my attention. I've never went after girls with boyfriends and you have a girlfriend. I can't date you while your dating Amy." Karma nods. And Liam pulls her into a hug. "We can still be friends but if you ever need anything i'm free." He smirks and kisses her cheek. "And if you and Amy ever break up i'm waiting on the side lines." He slings his arm over her shoulders and lead her to his car. "Let's get you home. I gotta head home to finish a project with Shane." He makes a face remembering how much he hated English.

IN a grey car driving in the opposite direction Dinah looks to Amy. "She was totally jealous."

Amy looks to her in shock. "What do you mean?"

Dinah laughs. "That looks she gave me, she was pissed off and jealous. I thought she was going to snatch my had away from your neck. She doesn't realize it yet but she's in love with you. Maybe she's confusing it with friendship or that you two are fake dating but she is jealous."

Amy shakes her head. "I don't think I could ever believe she is in love with me like that."

Dinah sighs and slips Amy's hand into hers. "Believe me does. Just be yourself. Don't push her, she'll have what we call gay panic."

Amy tilts her eyes down to their hands as they pull into her driveway. "Thank you Dinah."


End file.
